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Thoughts as a Female On Feminism and “Feminism” in Viral Social Media

I call myself a feminist.

Contrary to some make-believe image of what a feminist should look like, I don’t write signs saying that all men are pigs or that they’re all sleazy bastards who think it’s okay to harass someone. From the bottom of my heart I can say that for the men I have met that creep the hell out of me, I’ve met many more men who are respectful to all regardless of their gender. It’s stupid to generalise and to stereotype men. Keep that in mind for what I am trying to say here.

From a young age I was nicknamed “Girl King” in Chinese by my parents who began to understand my personality as it was. I climbed up and down sofas and I played with both the boys and girls at school. Due to growing up with brothers I liked both cars and Barbies and I also thought it was really unfair that my family registry back in China didn’t emphasise my name on it because whether I marry or not my name is essentially a dead-end on the tree. Sounds wonderful doesn’t it? Like yeah she’s a daughter, no need to record anything after her.

Some time in my teen years I loosely decided myself that at that point in time I didn’t think I wouldn’t need to be married or have kids. I told my mum this and she promptly asked me if I was a lesbian and told me that I must get married and have kids. Now, bless my mother but to say this simply because at that point I didn’t think I’d be committing to another or to take on the responsibility of a possible child was preposterous.

Where in my words did I say I preferred females?

Where is it stated that each and every female must be married and have kids?

I understand female marriage and childbirth is fundamental to the workings of society but I really don’t think each person absolutely has to go through them. And mind you, since that ‘incident’ I have actually changed my mindset on marriage.

Now here comes the opposite reaction.

In the recent past I worked with someone who alluded that maybe I was coming to the age of getting ‘clucky’. In this context clucky was the word to say to someone who may want to suddenly give their life and future career away to start a family. No, just no.

Don’t think of people who get married and have babies as anti-feminist because they go by the ‘traditional’ path.

Don’t think of feminism as not getting married and not having babies.

Feminism is about deciding and doing whatever the hell you want with your own life. That’s the equality ‘real’ feminists talk about.

You want a career? Go do it. You want kids? Go have them. You want a frigging gelato from the store? Go buy it. It’s your choice.

Those are my thoughts on feminism but here comes the juicy bit.

Feminism in viral media.

Can anyone tell me what feminism in viral media looks like to an everyday man or woman?

To a man, the extremist feminism may look like someone is undercutting their struggles in life and claiming women are dainty fairies who need to be protected and be given more privileges. It ain’t all that. Guys go through a hell of a lot of pressures and obstacles as well including the pressure to be manly or calm at all times.

To a woman, the extremist feminism may look like those large poster deals to cover up and create a diversion away from the fine print that is real feminism. Empowerment has been on the forefront of the girl power agenda which appeals to all women out there but since when did girl power and empowerment mean that guys are inferior or that we deserve special treatment over them?

Exhibit A:

One of the most viral videos of the latter half of this year is this video showing the harassment of a lady on the streets. Some ask “Where’s the harassment in saying hello?” and I say no where because as long you get the message to go away if your attention is not required you were just some guy who simply tried to pick up. Others may argue about the man who followed the lady for 5 minutes and YES THAT IS HARASSMENT. But what has this one video done to the feminist movement?

The video made it seem like saying simple hellos or compliments were the ‘harassment’ instead of the major elephant in room which were things like the 5 minute dude because people on the Internet love to skip the main point only to correct people about the small things! Think about all those so-called spelling and grammar Nazis who take away from the actual argument to correct the smaller and less relevant things.

Exhibit B:

Here’s another one. Video blows up on online and suddenly the feminist argument blows way out of proportion. Person A berates and then hits Person B over the head. Person B retaliated out of self-defence of the situation. If I put it in that way it isn’t about feminism anymore. It’s about one disgusting human being and another who couldn’t hold it any longer.

What’s so bad about this situation?

Just because Person A happens to be a girl it’s okay her to to do such things without any repercussions? Wake up girls out there. Guys shouldn’t hit girls, you’re right. But girls shouldn’t hit guys either let alone humiliate them in a public place.

Also don’t be a Berta. And don’t feed a Berta troll because she is not a feminist.

fake-feminism

Don’t let viral media or any idiots in the comment section fool anyone about the true meaning of feminism. Be critical. It’s about equal choices and equal respect. The only reason it’s called feminism is probably because it’s about raising females up on this imaginary ladder to be equal to the treatment of men and other women. Otherwise the movement would just be called Equalitarianism or something like that.

I call myself a feminist – but really I can call myself any label. What really matters is the cause behind the label.

In reference to Beyoncé – Who run the world? How about everyone because before you’re labelled by your gender you’re a person.

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I'm a Marketing professional by day, blogger by night and a beauty lover 24/7. My perfect day would consist of taking my sweet time putting on makeup, bargain hunting at secondhand markets, trying new cuisines and feeding stray kitties.

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